Sometime when I look back, I can't figure out what got us here. It's all a blur. I feel like so much has happened. I've gone trough so much shit. I've been broken in so many pieces and yet I was able to pick myself up and fight. Fight for what I want. Fight for what makes me happy.
I remember thinking that I liked him, that I really liked him, and feeling like we could be perfect together. But I was holding back. I was always holding back. I didn't want to love him. He is a bad person. He never hid that from me. And oh yeah, he has made go trough hell on earth. But he told me something, once, that stuck with me. We said something that made me change my mind about what I wanted. He surly is the master of manipulation. But I assure you that I'm also very good at that game. And I've gone trough those words so many times and still today I don't know what to make of it.
We were having dinner at a restaurant with a bunch of friends. We were sitting across from each other. We were talking about me not wanting to drink to much because I didn't want to lose control and let all our co-workers know that were sleeping together. He said "You can do whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Because you and I, we are going to end up together". He din't have to say this. He said it because he meant it. Or maybe not. I was already sleeping with him, so he didn't say it just to get me in bed.
Four or five months have passed since that. And the other day, we had dinner in that same restaurant. Same friends and everything. And as soon as I entered the restaurant I heard his words echoing though my mind. The whole time we where in there I was just thinking that despite everything, I'm happy that I decided to go trough with it. I love him so much. And oddly or not, I've never loved a boy before. I've had other boyfriends, yeah sure, but I never loved any of them. I've never felt this before. I didn't even said 'I love you' to any other guy. I only want to say that to the love of my life. I've always avoid saying that word... And now, all I want to do is to say it.